“if [this major problem of yours] were actually a strategy you were carrying out for a reason, what would the reason be?”
your dysfunctions are often strategies carried out by subagents whose beliefs and goals have diverged from the rest of you. Once you have identified them, then there are all sorts of ways to cooperate with them to make your life much better.
Ask “What bad thing happens if we’re aware of our feelings?” link
Step by step:
Ask for what you want “eg. I want to feel emo in my body”
Feel into, somatically feel into “what bad things happen if this were to be true”
List them.
Resolve conflicts by asking is there a way I could achieve my want and get more of the benefits and less of the harms?
Theory
In dating people self-reject to experience searching immense acceptence of others