A great decision isn't one where you get what you want. It's one where you stay who you want to be, no matter the result. I find it best to make the decision by asking myself if I'll be happy in ten years, no matter the outcome. Because that is a strong indicator of whether I'm acting in line with myself.
common pattern I notice: "I can't decide" usually means "I'm trying to pick the option that guarantees I never feel dumb, wrong, or like a failure."
If someone can't identify their wants, it usually means they were in a parent-child relationship where the energy was backwards. You were "taking care" of your parent and learned to subjugate your wants for them.
One of the most underrated skills is noticing when you’re trying to manage an outcome versus listening to your intuition. Here’s the tell: if the decision requires you to be someone slightly different than you are, you’re in management.
Emo blind spots:
If we experience something traumatizing and an emotion wasn't allowed to be felt all the way through, we will unconsciously recreate the circumstances that caused it so that the emotion can move. This pattern serves a purpose: our psyche is attempting to resolve what remains imcomplete. Once the emotion can move all the way through, the circumstances stop getting recreated. Ways: It was sustained over a long period of time (like fear for 2 years). / You were shut down or shamed for having the emotion. / 3 - It was too oyerwhelming for you. Self-sabotage isn't weakness. It's your psyche doing the only thing it knows to bring you back to what needs to be felt.