https://christineist.substack.com/p/a-secure-sense-of-self
Internal double crux great take on Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Spotting conflict Netflix vs. running
If you happen to be watching Netflix at the time, this belief is likely to ruin your fun. Perhaps you get up, put on your shoes, and begin to run—yet as soon as you do, you find yourself longing to stop, and continue only with effort and some minor degree of suffering.
Rather than summarizing this situation as “I’m just lazy” or “I struggle to stay motivated,” it’s instead productive to think “in addition to my belief that it’s good to run, I apparently also have a belief that it’s good to watch Netflix.” This isn’t just a cute, permissive reframe; it’s what’s actually going on. Some part of you believes that Netflix is exactly the Thing To Be Doing.
Shoulds as internal disagreement
At CFAR, we often characterize these internal disagreements as “shoulds.” Given any default action, a should is an urge or a pressure to do something else instead
Take: the core therapeutical effect there is love
Daniel Thorson: This is a must watch. At 11:44 on he reveals the secret magic at the core of IFS, which is also the core of unfolding, and circling, and love. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlOBtkXLCF8&embeds_referring_euri=https%3A%2F%2Fx.com%2F&source_ve_path=MjM4NTE
~IFS monologue, I give full freedom to any one part to stop me, I am just supporting them, if I feel off I will ditch whatever I am doing, put my eye mask on and get inside me to process Link Nick Cammarata
Since I’ve already been obscenely open, a month ago I was doing a sexual thing that nearly all my parts were for but one was against (it was scared and disgusted). So I immediately stopped and apologized to my partner and said I couldn’t do it, which was hard and embarrassing https://x.com/nickcammarata/status/1403426927604535297?s=12 Nick Cammarata