I mentioned on Twitter that to a significant extent, Circling taught me what "just be yourself" means to such an extent that I have a consistently good time on dates because I don't feel like I need to perform. Somebody asked me to elaborate, so here's what I wrote in response:
For those who don't know, Circling is... a practice that's infamously hard to try to describe or define. That's because it's structurally anti-structure and anti-expectation, which is what allows for "being yourself".
(At least, that's my experience. There are different schools of it; my experience is from the Circling Europe style and may not apply to others.)
Many activities have rules: "soccer is played by two teams that...". Circling mostly does not have rules, though it does have principles.
It's done by people coming together and sharing about their experience of what's happening.
One description is "sharing what it's like to be you, while finding out what it's like for others to be themselves". In any social event, a person will be thinking and feeling many things, and only sharing some of them. Circling is an invitation to share more of one's experience. For example, if I was at a party, I might have thoughts like
"oh I'm glad that he said that"
"I'm a little bored by this conversation"
"I think she was annoyed by that comment"
"I have this funny anecdote but I have to wait to say it, I hope the moment doesn't pass by"
Normally I would keep all of those to myself. But Circling is an invitation to share my experience, so I might say some of them. And it's also an invitation for me to ask about someone else's experience, if I e.g. say something and then wonder what they felt about it.
Important caveat: there's no obligation to share more than what you're comfortable with. There's a common misunderstanding of Circling as obligatory openness. But "I don't want to answer that" is also a sharing of your experience.
No rules = no rule saying you have to answer.
In fact, if someone says that they are curious about my reaction to something, it's totally fine for me to just say "okay" and then change the topic to something else that feels more interesting to me.
That said, it is also okay for the other to get annoyed by that and say it, which they might or might not, depending on the person. I once heard someone say that if you've Circled once and think that you now know what Circling is like, that's like having seen a single movie and thinking that you now know what all movies are like.
This is because things may go completely differently in different groups.
In one group, I ignore a question and the conversation moves on.
In another, I ignore a question and someone shares that they appreciate me following my interest.
In another, someone gets annoyed at me.